Society is creating a new crop of alpha women unable to love

Is society creating a new crop of alpha women that are unable to love?

Society is creating a new crop of alpha women unable to love

10answers and 22 replies

    • @ThisGal:Also, in agreeing with you, eDJ, I believe that women have for ages prioritized men at the bottom of other things. I mean, before (and even now a days) SAHM/SAHW blow off treating their men right (no sex, no affection, and letting themselves go/get fat) because they prioritized kids and their friends. Now, the “working woman” just uses her job as an excuse to blow off her man. What trend I do believe with all these “worker bee women” is that it is infantilizing men and destroying the family unit…I believe it is turning a lot of men into homosexuals. Why? Because I said in my post above, both men and women aren't superior over the other and they are not “equal” – they have strengths that compliment each other, a man cannot give birth to and/or wean a child…and, a woman is not built with the natural physical strength that a man has. Now, there are some exceptions, but not the biological “norm”. So, when a woman pays her own bills and does her own thing, a guy feels he has no place in her world. And, of the “house-husbands” that are popping up here/there – they are more than ly c-colds or limp-ds, beta guys, lazy guys, or secretly gay guys….because no real man puts up with crap that. I do not what's going on now a days. I do handle my own stuff and its because I had a dad who wasn't there for us. I learned at a young age that I had to fend for myself. I have no problem with standing behind/beside my man. I “know” my role. But, I believe I'm a turn off for most men. I try to hide the fact that while I can cook, clean and do my nails – I can also turn a wrench, do handiwork/HVAC/plumbing, etc. I'm also strong as an ox (I can wheel-barrell a half of a dump truck of dirt all by myself) …but, they figure it out and they get turned off. All these weak men are turning me off too…and that disturbs me. While I have no plans to start munching carpet and/or moving to Amazon Island, I am so untrustful of men that I just want them for sex pretty much. I see no value in investing my emotions, money and/or time in them. I'm sick of “man-buns”, guys wanting to take a woman's last name…etc. I'm also tired of the media shoveling this crap down our throats too. Tired of movies and TV shows where women have to be the lead…so stupid and a turn off. I'm praying that one day, when women figure out they can't run the world on their own, they crawl back into craving “real” men. As much as men have (and still in some parts of the world) abuse of women – this world was build on the strength and drive of “men”, not women. Women cannot and will not be able to sustain this nonsense. In the meantime, I just want a man who takes the time to get to know me and realize I need a man – but until I get one, I'm gonna continue being the bad azz that I am.
    • @Anonymous:Still haven't really defined an alpha woman. Let's take your first example, a successful woman. What is a successful woman? One that makes a lot of money and is in a position of authority where she works? I've known many women who have worked in both varying levels of authority and autonomy, and were affluent in varying degrees. What would set an “alpha woman” apart from the rest? Perhaps the clue to what you are getting at is in your second example, a woman that “won't let a man be a man”. I would imagine that you are trying to describe a woman that is dominant in her relationships, both personal and professional. Do I have that right? I have known few women this. They were of two types. The first were women at work that simply didn't men (or sometimes anybody at all) and took advantage of the their reticence to engage in a confrontation in a professional setting, either fear of being reported and potentially fired, or just flat out afraid. The second type are those women who seek out submissive men.What you have to realize is that with women who either are, or pretend to be, dominant is that it is up to the men (or other women) to go along with it. No one can really be dominated against their will and without their cooperation, except through violence. Too many in our society absolve themselves of the responsibility for their own actions by claiming they are victims.
    • @Anonymous:Life's not a fairy tale, though. And not being on the streets is pretty good. I don't know your story….but I remember when my dad left us and how relieved my mom was when a neighbor dropped off a bag of groceries. Being dependent on someone isn't a fun little fairy tale I am willing to relive. What if your husband dies? What if, for whatever reason, you are unable to bear children or your husband is infertile. What if you don't meet another man to marry? Some of us have to be content with the life we have, whether or not we are matriarchs. If being a successful woman with a job is wrong, then I'll be wrong every day of the week and twice on Sunday. And yes, successful women can love. Are you capable of love?Are you capable of loving someone who doesn't need you to provide for her, but rather *wants* you cause she chooses to build a life with you?
    • @Anonymous:I just see the love differently. I'd much rather be wanted than needed. There are very few things in life that are needed. When I broke my arm, I “needed” to get to the emergency room. I “needed” a doctor. When I got married, it's cause I “wanted” to share my life with someone. After he died, I “needed” to figure out a way to do all the things that he took charge of and did so well. When the fairy tale ends, being resourceful isn't a bad thing. The world is changing and men and women do not necessarily “need” each other. It's unpleasant to think about, but this is reality. Almost anyone is capable of learning how to cook, clean, get stains clothes, balance a checkbook, fix the fence, change the headlamp in the car, etc. I don't fret my job or degree or nest egg any more than any man would fret his job or degree or nest egg. And if I gave up my job would it make it any easier to find a husband? I doubt it. Is not being successful the magic elixer to find love? Nope.It's provocative to state that society is creating alpha women that are incapable of love, but peoples' real lives are more nuanced and complicated than that.
    • @HikerVeg:Oh gosh, sounds that Jessica Lange's movie years ago, 'Men Don't Leave'…where her hubby dies from an accident – leaving her in debt. That movie, an Oprah show, and all the Feminist mantra (on top of my dad being a deadbeat jerk, put the fear in me that a man being a provider and protector was only in fairlytales… However, while I carry that insecurity, I have seen men who sacrifice, step up to the plate and do right by familes.. And, when they do, I think it's beautiful. In other words, I have no problem in giving up being a worker bee….but I really, really, would have to vett/evaluate the guy… Women have choices, but they keep on picking bums and then claim they “have” to work. No, stop picking bums. I have a gf that. Got involved with a dude who is/was a deadbeat drunk to his kids – yet she got in vitro and “forced” this guy into her fantasy, then lectures me on how women can't rely on men and that's why she will not give up her career….go figure.
    • @ThisGal:Yes. Men can be providers. And there are a lot of great men out there. I have friends in traditional homemaker roles. Man is the breadwinner. They are very happy. I get the feeling though that women who are making it on their own get cast in with the maniac feminists who hate men and get off on emasculating them. every other man or woman who lives alone, I've managed some unpleasant tasks. The great mouse proofing of 2012. Retrieving the body of a poor kitty who froze to death under my house. Replacing the door blend actuator on my car with help from . I won't lie. I miss my husband. I miss tackling the difficult stuff together. I miss not having to get out the little ladder to put the big ladder up on the hooks. I miss being married. I miss my partner. If the fact that I deal with stuff on my own projects a negative image for my dating prospects, oh well. The damsel in distress routine is pretty tiring.you said, women have choices.
    • @HikerVeg:I feel ya… I hate how they look at us and make up their minds that we don't need them. I mean, if a pipe breaks at my home I have two options..shell out money for a handiman or roll up my sleeves and fix it. So sorry, not gonna do one of my gfs and sweet talk some guy she has no romantic interest in – into coming over and fixing/maintaining her home. I can't play guys and/or have time for the damsel in distress manipulation.Also, sitting around and crying isn't an option either.
  • Taking apart your question… First it is not society. Media liberals and celebrities think that they hold the values of society or what society should have and they don't; but you get a lot of cultural pressure in entertainment and news laid on us all the time. Recognize it for what it is. In the age of feminism and #metoo, the problem is that emphasizing that woman should be suspicious of men and at times treat me as the enemy does not help them get closer to men. Part of this problem is that while they have each known bad men, the problem begins when they see all men that way. Some react by trying to beat the man at the player's game. Thinking that the player has it all, when the male player does not love either. His problem is the he does not respect women, he does not really know them other than their bodies. He can perhaps make them have sex with him, but misses out on their true value. A woman trying to be alpha in this way, easily becomes jaded and unable to really care. In the other way of being alpha, they want to rule the roost. Women are conditioned to be attracted to dominant men, not submissive ones. Her very actions of asserting control means she does not respect any partner, and hence cannot love. In another post a woman was upset that her partner made significantly less money, she was not attracted. All this means is that the high earners are going to be single. They only can love other high earners, and those male high earners can always find someone better looking, with more time for them, and willing to put them before themselves.

    If women truly believed in feminism, then they should believe in equality. But they don't, they believe in what is what they think is their best interest. And in modern times, that can wreck what chances at happiness they have.

    • @Senpai:I realise women vary from one to another , but you can't see how over the last 80 years there has been an epidemic of orchestrated movements to separate women from men , which ultimately trained a good percentage of the female population to look at men as an ancient relic of the stone age that just handicaps women? I know it's false but the message was sent.Wich ultimately turned men into hating marriage or becoming emasculatedEditedon July 16, 2018 at 13:09 UTC by the author
    • @mossgard:Yes men come in all shapes and sizes. As do women. I'm not talking about Joe down the street that can't hold a job and preferres to play video games all day. Im talking about family men , fat or skinny, not just well off guys with ripped muscles and a six pack. The average man is a very valuable thing believe it or not. Maybe that's part of it though.maybe you have a point. Maybe men are looked at as disposable. Maybe a person could trade in a spouse or partner trading cards these days. I hate to have to bring you up to date with time and space but humans spent 99.99999 % of there time on earth existing as matriarch and Hunter. The last 100 years after the industrial revolution has distorted alot of things regarding man and women, so to suggest women should go there own way and everything should be fine to me is alittle naive. Yes. Maybe it's just part of evolution.Maybe men should just bite the bullet and accept being femonized. I can tell you with certainty that it doesn't take much to knock us right back into the stone age. A natural disaster , a war for example. Then we will see respect instead of disrespect. It's all really a matter of perspective. I can tell you this is all new to the human race. The planet is 4.543 billion years old.Humans have been here for 6 million most of that six million as monkeys.Actually sometimes I think it doesn't even matter.nothing matters. We are a spec of dust .an unimportant pin tip in an infinite universe that really doesn't even need us. We are born then we die that's it.The only thing that separates us from a cockroach is ideas.Editedon July 16, 2018 at 15:24 UTC by the author

Source: https://www.askmen.com/answers/general/1766494-is-society-creating-a-new-crop-of-alpha-women-that.html

r/RedPillWomen –

Society is creating a new crop of alpha women unable to love

Editor's note: The following column is adapted from the new book “The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & Marriage” Post Hill Press (February 14, 2017).

me, my mother was not a perfect wife. She was, however, a remarkable and compassionate woman.

And she was fiercely devoted to my father, so much so that five years after he died, she couldn’t bring herself to even kiss the man who fell in love with her at the independent living facility where she lived for a year and a half before she too passed away.

The man wanted to marry her, but it was the question. In my mother’s mind, there was only one man for her. That he was gone and she was technically available was beside the point.

Despite my mother’s allegiance to my father, she never quite mastered wifedom—for one reason: she was wholly unyielding.

With my mother, everything was a fight. Everything was “No” unless she determined it was appropriate to say yes. If my mother wasn’t the one who made the decision, the decision couldn’t possibly be good. Every so often she would appear to cede to my father’s wishes, but only if she happened to agree with him.

Indeed, my mother was the quintessential alpha wife. An alpha wife micromanages, delegates and makes most or even all of the decisions. She is, quite simply, the Boss.

Every relationship requires a masculine and a feminine energy to thrive. If women want to find peace with men, they must find their feminine—that is where their real power lies.

Alpha women aren’t exactly new, but they were once a rarer breed. Today they abound. There are several reasons why, but it’s in large part due to women having been groomed to be leaders rather than to be wives. Simply put, women have become too much men. They’re too competitive. Too masculine. Too alpha.

That may get them ahead at work. But when it comes to love, it will land them in a ditch.

Every relationship requires a masculine and a feminine energy to thrive. If women want to find peace with men, they must find their feminine—that is where their real power lies. Being feminine isn’t about being beautiful or svelte, or even about wearing high heels (although those things are nice). Being feminine is a state of mind. It’s an attitude.

In essence, being feminine means being nice. It means being soft instead of hard. And by “nice,” I don’t mean you should become a mouse. (That’s the narrative the culture sells, but that doesn’t make it true.

) Men love women who are fun and feisty and who know their own mind! But they don’t want a woman who tells them what to do. As a man named Chuck once wrote on my site: “A strong woman is awesome. But she must be inviting and be able to mesh into an actual relationship.

Needing to dominate and overpower, that is a no go.”

Jackie Kennedy once said there are two kinds of women: those who want power in the world, and those who want power in bed. American women have become laser-focused on the former and have rejected the latter. In doing so, they’ve undermined their ability to find lasting love.

The roles may have changed, but the rules haven’t. All a good man wants is for his wife to be happy, and he will go to great lengths to make it happen. He’ll even support his wife’s ideas, plans or opinions if he doesn’t agree with them. That’s because a husband’s number one goal is to please his wife. If he determines his wife cannot be pleased, that’s when the marriage is in trouble.

Men are just so much simpler than women. Not simple as in dumb, as is often portrayed in the media. Simple in that they have far fewer needs than women do. What men want most of all is respect, companionship and sex.

If you supply these basics, your husband will do anything for you—slay the dragons, kill the beast, work three jobs, etc. Men will happily do this if, and only if, they are loved well in return. It is when men are not loved well that problems arise.

That is the nature of the male-female dance.

Now I know what you’re thinking: that I’m putting everything on you. I am, and I’m not. Your husband is 100% responsible for his own actions. If he makes stupid choices, such as getting repeatedly drunk, it’s his job to own up to that behavior and stop it. Same goes for his emotional outbursts, if he has them, or his not coming home when he said he would. Or even his having an affair.

What I am saying is that men tend to follow women’s lead. Your husband’s actions are more often than not reactions. He’s reacting to something you said or did, or to something you didn’t say or didn’t do.

He’s reacting to your moods, your gestures, your inflections and your tone. That’s how men are. Your husband wants you to be happy, and when he sees it isn’t working he thinks he’s failed.

That’s when he acts out.

Another way to think about the male-female dance is to consider the game of chess. In chess, the king is the most important piece but also one of the weakest.

He can only move one square in any direction—up, down, to the sides, and diagonally. The queen, however, is the most powerful piece.

She can move in any one direction—forward, backward, sideways, or diagonally. And how she moves affects how he moves.

As a woman, you can respond to this dynamic in one of two ways: you can resent it, or you can embrace it. I used to resent it.

I’d think to myself, How can I possibly make sure my husband isn’t negatively affected by my every mood swing? I’m a Pisces, for God’s sake! My moods shift with the wind! Plus, why am I responsible for my husband’s reactions? The whole thing seemed a whole lot of pressure, not to mention unfair.

As a result, I embraced my alpha personality as though it were a baby in need of protection. If my husband chose me, obviously he s that about me. Why should I have to change? Who would I be if I changed? And how could I be someone different, even if I wanted to?

But my alpha ways were bumping up against his alpha nature. We were two bulls hanging out in the same pen together, and there was too much friction. And because I had zero interest in my husband adopting a more feminine role, I set about to become the feminine creature our culture insists women not be.

And here’s what I learned: It’s liberating to be a beta!

I’m an alpha all day long, and it gets tiresome. I concede that I thrive on it; but at the end of the day, I’m spent. Self-reliance is exhausting. Making all the decisions is exhausting. Driving the car, literally or figuratively, is exhausting.

It took me a ridiculously long time to get it. But once I did, once I accepted that the energy I exude and the way I approach my husband directly affects his response and behavior, I changed my tune. And when I did, something happened.

The tension disappeared overnight.

Just that.

Well, almost that. It was a lot of stop and go at first. First I’d handle something the “right” way—i.e. by not arguing with him, or by not directing his traffic, or by being more service-oriented—and marvel at the response.

Then life would get busy, and I’d resort to my old ways. Sure enough, I’d get a different response. So I’d make a mental note of how I messed up and make sure to get it right the next time. Eventually, it became second nature.

It’s weight loss. Once you realize that diet and exercise is the only way to stay fit, and that sugar and carbs create fat, a light bulb goes off in your head. You’ve unlocked the code to keeping your weight in check. Even if you fall off the wagon (and you will), you’ll know what to do to get back on track.

That’s what it’s to love a man. Once you learn how, you’re good to go. You have all the tools you need.

But you have to use them.

Suzanne Venker is a writer known for her provocative yet compelling views on men, women, work & family. Her newest book, to be published February 2017, is “The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & Marriage: HOW LOVE WORKS.” To learn more about Suzanne and her work, visit her website. Follow her on @SuzanneVenker.

— http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2017/02/08/society-is-creating-new-crop-alpha-women-who-are-unable-to-love.html

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/5sz8um/society_is_creating_a_new_crop_of_alpha_women_who/

Society didn’t create the “new crop” of alpha women. .

Society is creating a new crop of alpha women unable to love
Feb 12, 2017 · 3 min read

Alpha women were not created by society. They weren’t sparked to life because of work equality standards or girls being brought up that they can do what the boys do. These women don’t wake up one day wishing they could become an “alpha” woman.

The rise of the alpha woman is due to the decline of the alpha male.

Having been through eight years of pure hell trying to coax, beg, plead, motivate, drag, pull, push my husband his underemployed, depressed, non-masculine state, I believe I have some expertise in this matter. I am an alpha female, proud of the hard-fought place I own in society. The only reason I got here is the power within me that had to sustain a family of six when my husband checked out for nearly a decade.

This article infuriated me. It’s an excerpt from The Alpha Female’s Guide to Love and Marriage by Suzanne Venker, a book I can only imagine would infuriate me further. The headline of the article said “Society is creating a new crop of alpha women who are unable to love” and that was enough there to stoke the fire of anger.

I have been saying for a while that someone needs to research and write a book about how our men are not fulfilling their masculinity. Authors Venker would have you believe that men lack masculinity and don’t take care of their families because their women are too strong, too overbearing.

Venker is treading dangerous ground advising women me to “be nicer” to our men so they will feel less of the alpha-alpha friction. Aw, we must be the beta so those men can beat their chests and whatnot.

Those men that she says are “simple, not dumb” are the same ones she is basically coaxing women to manipulate through simple changes in perspective. Puke.

I tried fooling my man into thinking he was a man. I tried giving him respect. He says he wants to work, yet he brings home barely enough to pay for gas for his vehicle to get to and from work. For nearly eight years, he has only worked jobs that I have gotten for him. He has been fired several times.

He is actually a GOOD man, but somewhere along the way he lost his drive to provide. A change in perspective isn’t going to fix my husband. I cannot communicate better, love him better, be nicer enough to make him get up and be a man.

I have driven him down to the water more times than I can count, but the man has to learn to take a drink.

Here lately I seem to be meeting more and more of these “alpha females” who are products of a similar situation. When there is no food for the table we go out and get it. We wish every day for our man to wake up his stupor and BE MANLY again.

We do absolutely everything because he cannot find it within him to learn to cook, clean house, do laundry, help with homework. We are worn and tired but we are stronger every single day.

The idea that we then need to go to the mirror and soften our visage so he’ll love us is insulting.

Sarcasm aside (and this is all 100% TRUE) — society didn’t make me the alpha that I am. I fought hard for this strength, and if any man can’t take it he isn’t man enough for me. I think the solution to relationships with alpha females is for men to stand up and be men again. Sheesh.

I am still in the process of trying to figure out how to resolve my personal situation. Grace and mercy would be appreciated as I do love my husband despite all the struggles.

“,”author”:”Amanda Sparks”,”date_published”:”2017-02-12T00:47:56.555Z”,”lead_image_url”:null,”dek”:null,”next_page_url”:null,”url”:”https://medium.com/@asparks/society-didnt-create-the-new-crop-of-alpha-women-e33c91b85034″,”domain”:”medium.com”,”excerpt”:”Alpha women were not created by society. They weren’t sparked to life because of work equality standards or girls being brought up that…”,”word_count”:640,”direction”:”ltr”,”total_pages”:1,”rendered_pages”:1}

Source: https://medium.com/@asparks/society-didnt-create-the-new-crop-of-alpha-women-e33c91b85034

Society is creating a new crop of alpha women who are unable to love

Society is creating a new crop of alpha women unable to love

Editor's note: The following column is adapted from the new book “The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & Marriage” Post Hill Press (February 14, 2017).

me, my mother was not a perfect wife. She was, however, a remarkable and compassionate woman.

And she was fiercely devoted to my father, so much so that five years after he died, she couldn’t bring herself to even kiss the man who fell in love with her at the independent living facility where she lived for a year and a half before she too passed away.

The man wanted to marry her, but it was the question. In my mother’s mind, there was only one man for her. That he was gone and she was technically available was beside the point.

Despite my mother’s allegiance to my father, she never quite mastered wifedom—for one reason: she was wholly unyielding.

BETTER SEX, BETTER HEALTH, MORE MONEY: WHAT MEN REALLY GET MARRIAGE

With my mother, everything was a fight. Everything was “No” unless she determined it was appropriate to say yes. If my mother wasn’t the one who made the decision, the decision couldn’t possibly be good. Every so often she would appear to cede to my father’s wishes, but only if she happened to agree with him.

Every relationship requires a masculine and a feminine energy to thrive. If women want to find peace with men, they must find their feminine—that is where their real power lies.

Indeed, my mother was the quintessential alpha wife. An alpha wife micromanages, delegates and makes most or even all of the decisions. She is, quite simply, the Boss.

Alpha women aren’t exactly new, but they were once a rarer breed. Today they abound. There are several reasons why, but it’s in large part due to women having been groomed to be leaders rather than to be wives. Simply put, women have become too much men. They’re too competitive. Too masculine. Too alpha.

That may get them ahead at work. But when it comes to love, it will land them in a ditch.

Every relationship requires a masculine and a feminine energy to thrive. If women want to find peace with men, they must find their feminine—that is where their real power lies. Being feminine isn’t about being beautiful or svelte, or even about wearing high heels (although those things are nice). Being feminine is a state of mind. It’s an attitude.

In essence, being feminine means being nice. It means being soft instead of hard. And by “nice,” I don’t mean you should become a mouse. (That’s the narrative the culture sells, but that doesn’t make it true.

) Men love women who are fun and feisty and who know their own mind! But they don’t want a woman who tells them what to do. As a man named Chuck once wrote on my site: “A strong woman is awesome. But she must be inviting and be able to mesh into an actual relationship.

Needing to dominate and overpower, that is a no go.”

Jackie Kennedy once said there are two kinds of women: those who want power in the world, and those who want power in bed. American women have become laser-focused on the former and have rejected the latter. In doing so, they’ve undermined their ability to find lasting love.

The roles may have changed, but the rules haven’t. All a good man wants is for his wife to be happy, and he will go to great lengths to make it happen. He’ll even support his wife’s ideas, plans or opinions if he doesn’t agree with them. That’s because a husband’s number one goal is toplease his wife. If he determines his wife cannot be pleased, that’s when the marriage is in trouble.

Men are just so much simpler than women. Not simple as in dumb, as is often portrayed in the media. Simple in that they have far fewer needs than women do. What men want most of all is respect, companionship and sex.

If you supply these basics, your husband will do anything for you—slay the dragons, kill the beast, work three jobs, etc. Men will happily do this if, and only if, they are loved well in return. It is when men are not loved well that problems arise.

That is the nature of the male-female dance.

Now I know what you’re thinking: that I’m putting everything on you. I am, and I’m not. Your husband is 100% responsible for his own actions. If he makes stupid choices, such as getting repeatedly drunk, it’s his job to own up to that behavior and stop it. Same goes for his emotional outbursts, if he has them, or his not coming home when he said he would. Or even his having an affair.

What I am saying is that men tend to follow women’s lead. Your husband’s actions are more often than not reactions.

He’s reacting to something you said or did, or to something you didn’t say or didn’t do. He’s reacting to your moods, your gestures, your inflections and your tone. That’s how men are.

Your husband wants you to be happy, and when he sees it isn’t working he thinks he’s failed. That’s when he acts out.

Another way to think about the male-female dance is to consider the game of chess. In chess, the king is the most important piece but also one of the weakest.

He can only move one square in any direction—up, down, to the sides, and diagonally. The queen, however, is the most powerful piece. She can move in any one direction—forward, backward, sideways, or diagonally.

And how she moves affects how he moves.

As a woman, you can respond to this dynamic in one of two ways: you can resent it, or you can embrace it. I used to resent it.

I’d think to myself, How can I possibly make sure my husband isn’t negatively affected by my every mood swing? I’m a Pisces, for God’s sake! My moods shift with the wind! Plus, why am I responsible for my husband’s reactions? The whole thing seemed a whole lot of pressure, not to mention unfair.

As a result, I embraced my alpha personality as though it were a baby in need of protection. If my husband chose me, obviously he s that about me. Why should I have to change? Who would I be if I changed? And how could I be someone different, even if I wanted to?

But my alpha ways were bumping up against his alpha nature. We were two bulls hanging out in the same pen together, and there was too much friction. And because I had zero interest in my husband adopting a more feminine role, I set about to become the feminine creature our culture insists women not be.

And here’s what I learned: It’s liberating to be a beta!

I’m an alpha all day long, and it gets tiresome. I concede that I thrive on it; but at the end of the day, I’m spent. Self-reliance is exhausting. Making all the decisions is exhausting. Driving the car, literally or figuratively, is exhausting.

It took me a ridiculously long time to get it. But once I did, once I accepted that the energy I exude and the way I approach my husband directly affects his response and behavior, I changed my tune. And when I did, something happened.

The tension disappeared overnight.

Just that.

Well, almost that. It was a lot of stop and go at first. First I’d handle something the “right” way—i.e. by not arguing with him, or by not directing his traffic, or by being more service-oriented—and marvel at the response.

Then life would get busy, and I’d resort to my old ways. Sure enough, I’d get a different response. So I’d make a mental note of how I messed up and make sure to get it right the next time. Eventually, it became second nature.

It’s weight loss. Once you realize that diet and exercise is the only way to stay fit, and that sugar and carbs create fat, a light bulb goes off in your head. You’ve unlocked the code to keeping your weight in check. Even if you fall off the wagon (and you will), you’ll know what to do to get back on track.

That’s what it’s to love a man. Once you learn how, you’re good to go. You have all the tools you need.

But you have to use them.

Source: https://www.foxnews.com/opinion/society-is-creating-a-new-crop-of-alpha-women-who-are-unable-to-love

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