- 8 Ways to Build a Life You Love
- 1. Desire
- 2. Never settle for average.
- 3. Choose to excel.
- 4. Be willing to be uncomfortable.
- 5. Listen to your heart.
- 6. Freedom
- 7. Leave your mark.
- The 10 Things I did to Create a Life I LOVE
- Why You Want to Create a Life You Love
- How Long Does it Take to Have a Life You Love?
- What it Takes to Create a Life You Love
- Creating a life you love can can happen right away.
- Living a life you love starts in your own mind
- Creating a life you love CAN be accomplished in small steps
- Take Responsibility for Your Own Actions
- Design a Life You Love with Forgiveness
- Create a Life You Love with Gratitude Practices
- Love Your Life More by Releasing Toxic Relationships
- Follow Your Own Compass
- Buy Less Stuff!
- Nurture Your Relationships
- Express Yourself
- Take Care of Your Body
- Reach Beyond Can’t and Don’t Want to Have Fun
- How to Create a Life You Love
- The First Steps Toward Creating a Life You Love
- 10 steps to create a life you love
- We can learn to accept change
- A key to a meaningful life is having a purpose
- But how do you actually set goals?
- 2) Where you are right now
- 3) Create a compelling vision for your future
- 4) Write your personal vision statements
- 5) Write your personal action plan
- 6) Take action and monitor your progress
- 7) Make use of a range of valuable tools and techniques
- 9) Evaluate and take stock
- 10) Where to from here
- 1) It’s not anyone else’s job to fix you, so fix yourself
- 2) Nothing is perfect
- 3) You are probably definitely going to fail
- 4) You can’t change the past
- 5) Tomorrow doesn’t come for everyone
- 6) Being busy doesn’t mean you are productive
- 7) You do have the time, stop telling everyone that you don’t
8 Ways to Build a Life You Love
August 10, 2017 7 min read Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.
Joy is our personal right. We each have this one amazing, but brief chance to build lives we love. If we don’t deeply believe we deserve happiness, that we deserve abundance, and to live unrestricted, we end up living lives of mediocrity. Happiness runs deeper than money.
How we spend our time, where we spend our time, and who we spend our time with are the key ingredients to our happiness or our misery. Because we spend the majority of our time in life at work, it is imperative we love what we do.
If we aren’t passionate about what we do, we may make money, but we will also live under clouds of dread, negative pressures and stress which defeat the joys money can bring.
It is our job to figure out who we are, what our talents and strengths are and to nurture those. Desire comes from the inside; it comes from our gut. We must activate and become the choosers of our own destinies and invest ourselves is those topics or fields which most interest us.
It is a known fact that we always work the hardest for the things we are most passionate about.
If we want to succeed at the higher plateaus, to make the kind of money we want to make, and to live a life we truly love we must commit to pursuing the desires which keep us up at night and wake us up in the morning.
Related: Desire for Fame and Wealth are Really Bad Reasons for Writing a Book
2. Never settle for average.
If we ignore what makes us tick, talk ourselves believing we can make a living doing what we love, choose not to follow the path that holds our interest and passion, we will never be great. It is too easy to get comfortable in our careers, even when we love them.
When we get comfortable we unconsciously build and accept “ceilings” over our success. We become experts at the familiar. This type of comfort breeds something lazy in us where we show up and do what we’re told or what is expected of us, but do not go beyond. To be above average we must be hunters.
We must crave what is new and unexplored, and fearlessly pursue those areas. We must be willing to risk.
Related: Do You Sleep More Than Elon Musk, Mark Cuban, Sheryl Sandberg and Other Leaders?
3. Choose to excel.
If we want to be great, we must keep in mind effort counts twice as much as genius or talent. We must commit to being a person who wants to be more, do more, and consistently test the limits of our capacity.
We must make it a goal to be the most prepared, to stay late whenever necessary, to research consistently, and to invest in our personal growth. The more we learn, the more effective and successful we become.
Extra effort increases our knowledge, expertise and self-confidence. The next step up from being an expert is being a leader. Most of us don’t enjoy having a boss over our heads managing what we do.
There is a certain freedom that comes, albeit more responsibility, in being at the top. To reach these top tiers, we must always transcend beyond what is expected of us and go the extra mile.
Related: 6 Things You Must Quit Doing Now If You Want to Be More Successful
4. Be willing to be uncomfortable.
There is nothing comfortable about achieving. We cannot want success, sit back in fear or entitlement and hope it finds us.
There is alot of information circulating around about manifesting success through the use of gratitude affirmations which, unfortunately, keeps many people stuck waiting for the Success Bus to magically pick them up.
While I believe in the power of gratitude and positive affirmation it is not enough to bring us success without subsequent action.
Miracles come the moment we take the leap into the uncomfortable, positively coach ourselves through fears and uncertainties, and commit to staying in action until we achieve the goals we set out to accomplish. If we aren’t willing to be uncomfortable, the laws of attraction will fail us. Action is energy in motion. Without action we cannot serve as beacons to attract the things we want.
Related: Why I Never Meet Someone for Coffee
5. Listen to your heart.
The large majority of people are not going to grant us permission to go out and succeed at the highest levels. In fact, our desires for success, more often than not, may make others feel “less-than.
” Other people, to build themselves up, to avoid facing their own fears, often do all they can to put the fear into that what we desire is not possible. If our desires make other people feel inferior or as if they’re not doing enough, not our circus not our monkey.
Bottom line, we must listen to our own heart, and give ourselves the permission we need to go out and grab the life we want. We will ly leave people behind. The benefit is this lightens our load.
When these losses feel painful, we must ask ourselves what are we really losing? A person who doesn’t want us to succeed to levels we dream for ourselves. Maybe this isn’t a loss, but rather a gain.
Related: 7 Body-Language Hacks to Try When Meeting New People
Freedom is the reward to come from our hard work. When we’ve worked hard and managed our money well, we get to experience the freedoms we were not able to experience as we were building and developing our careers. We work hard because we are driven to experience living full enriched lives.
Who doesn’t want the freedom to do what they want, travel where they want, live where they want, and to experience the joys of these hard-earned luxuries. This isn’t selfish; these are the fruits of our labor.
When we have this type of freedom, even though it comes with increased responsibility, we can feel proud that we have created an extraordinary life for ourselves and those we love.
Related: Why Your 20s Is the Perfect Time to Start a Business
7. Leave your mark.
The most significant way to leave our mark is to be of service to others. Give back, mentor, donate, be kind, inspire and help everyone who is willing to receive it and use it. We must also be mindful to keep a balance, as we don’t want our giving nature to be taken advantage of.
It is important to hold an energy that communicates what we expect. When we value who we are, people will feel it. We must invest in those who want to be helped, and leave behind those expecting a free and easy ride.
If we are not armed with the proper boundaries, we risk losing our freedoms by getting ourselves tied to situations and people who drain us dry. When we have created a life we love, it is our right to fiercely protect what we have built.
At the end of the day, what others see in us is what they will desire to follow, and this is how we leave our mark; we become the model of a human being others feel inspired to emulate.
Related: 4 Meeting Mistakes You're Probably Making and How to Fix Them
8. Be kind.
Nothing will take us further in life, bring us more opportunity, joy or happiness than being kind. Being kind should not equate to being a pushover; it equates to being a good human being. The greatest leaders of all time have two things in common; sharing and caring.
When we deeply respect who we are, we are not easily threatened by others. We are not insecure living in an unspoken competition with everyone we meet, needing to posture or engage in one-upmanship. Instead, we are open to others, to new opportunities and to see how we can contribute.
The true marker of success, is living with a kind, helpful, grateful and humble heart.
The 10 Things I did to Create a Life I LOVE
To make the most of your life; you have to create a life YOU love. Here are 10 ways to build a wonderful life and start living a life you love.
You don’t need a plan, or be a certain age, or lose 20 pounds to design a life you love. Building a wonderful life is something anyone can do! Here are my favorite (and much used) ways to start creating a life you love.
Why You Want to Create a Life You Love
After working with over 10,000 people in education, I believe that we are hard-wired as humans to grow. Our versions of a life we love are as unique as we are. Even as we simultaneously appreciate all the we have or have done, we also want more.
Sure, some of us get stuck or feel we’re in a rut. But it’s not because we don’t want to grow or change; it’s usually because we aren’t sure how we can or even if we can.
To make the most of your life, you have to become intentional in how you live your life daily. Autopilot doesn’t help you create a life you love!
How Long Does it Take to Have a Life You Love?
On most days it may not feel not much is happening. Yet, over time, change does happen and once you become intentional, you will begin to love the life you have.
And that feels a BETTER LIFE! A life you can love.
Having a Think Big Life is amazing. To be truthful though, it often looks a very ordinary life. That’s because much of life is made up of very ordinary moments. However, those moments all hold the seeds of your future life.
That’s why it’s so important to spend time in the ordinary moments building a life that you love.
What it Takes to Create a Life You Love
If you too are trying to create something new in your life; there are three things to remember.
Creating a life you love can can happen right away.
You can love the life you live, even before you see physical changes in your life. Change begins in your mind–you build a life you love by changing your thinking. Real and substantial change takes time and commitment.
That’s a good thing!
Living a life you love starts in your own mind
Change begins with you and your thoughts. Today, you might not know how to do it or how long it will take. Yet, you can begin with a belief that it is possible.
Creating a life you love CAN be accomplished in small steps
TV and movies show huge changes happening overnight. Yet, that’s usually not the case. Committing a tiny amount of time, each day to something you desire can help you create a life you love.
Take Responsibility for Your Own Actions
When my children were young, we lived next door to another family. One day we heard the dad yelling at one of the boys, “Johnny, take responsibility for your own crap!” (It sounds way worse in writing than it did in person. He was a very loud but extremely good-hearted man.)
We loved that phrase. It kind of became a motto for our family.
Take responsibility for your own actions and results. Yes, there are jerks out there and stuff happens. However, if you can try to own and understand your own part in every single thing that happens to you; you actually gain power.
In my dating life, I’ve had a couple of not-so-pleasant relationships. I could easily blame those clowns for being jerks. (Yes, I CAN still call them names!)
Yet, with self-awareness and analyzing the part I played (and the red flags I blatantly ignored!) I learned and accepted that I played a part in my own bad experiences.
Usually, in any experience of mine that doesn’t go well, I can pinpoint some of my own actions that contributed to my own results. Of course, it’s easier to see these in hindsight.
I to think though that by taking responsibility for my own actions—I’ll be better prepared the next time to make better decisions. Better decisions in the now create better results in the future!
Design a Life You Love with Forgiveness
Along with accepting my own part in any situation or relationship, forgiving is probably the most essential thing I do.
In fact, forgiving is such a cornerstone to the way I live, I’ve written three posts about it and produced one guided meditation.
Forgiving is not to benefit the other person or say what they did is okay. It is for your benefit. It is so you can release that energy and not have those situations again.
When you hold onto crap that people did to you, you keep it active in your own energy. Have you ever wondered why the same things keeps happening to you over and over?
It’s because you haven’t resolved it yet. Taking responsibility for your part and forgiving the other parties goes a long way in clearing that stuff out.
Create a Life You Love with Gratitude Practices
I am so thankful that I had parents that always actively looked for ways to be thankful. They were openly appreciative of anything beautiful, of different kinds of people, of their family, of the blessings they received.
They did not live a charmed life. They suffered through many set-backs and my dad came close to being killed or disabled for life. In his thirties, with three children and one on the way, he was in a work accident that put him in the hospital for months and left him disfigured.
This accident was caused by another person who was not hurt and never took responsibility. And it was during a time, when you didn’t sue and you received no benefit. My parents felt lucky that he had a job to go back to after 11 months of recovery.
Talk about things that you could be negative about.
My dad’s accident was a huge part of my life, yet I never heard my parents express hatred or bitterness. They never ever sugar-coated it for anything but a horrible painful event. But they both made the decision to not let this terrible event disable them in any other way.
They stayed positive about their lives and continually looked for things to appreciate and be thankful for.
My parents taught me to see beauty, love, and value in ordinary things: a beautiful garden, the love of a special pet, in the people in our lives.
My mom, especially can find something to appreciate in the most mundane of things: a cup of coffee, a bite of something delicious, or a call from a child.
Here are some ways to build a gratitude practice today.
Love Your Life More by Releasing Toxic Relationships
Even with an attitude of love, forgiveness, and appreciation, sometimes you’ve got to release people from your life. I struggled with this. I had some relationships that were not serving me but I was loathe to totally release them.
Then one day, I decided to do it. Remember the bad boyfriends from above? I decided one day that I knew I did not want to see them again and I was tired of politely answering texts or phone calls. I blocked both of them.
I felt immediate relief. You see, our phones are always with us. Allowing someone the privilege of having your phone number gives them access to you at any hour, day or night.
And in that access, they can cause us to have some distress. Even though I wasn’t seeing either of these guys, their messages caused me to not feel so good.
Not sure if someone IS toxic–read this!
I didn’t want that. So, without any fanfare, I blocked them both.
Seriously, it was one of the BEST decisions I have ever made. I didn’t even realize at the time that it would be life-changing. I mark that point as the beginning of THINGS GETTING BETTER.
Follow Your Own Compass
This is your life to live. Sometimes we buy into how we need to live because so many other people are doing it. We buy houses, drive cars, choose jobs, and have certain relationships what is culturally accepted.
And while none of these things are inherently good or bad, many of us are on auto-pilot about what we should do and when.
It takes true courage to live, even a little bit outside of the box.
Argentina was definitely outside my box!
However, it is outside the box where the magic happens. It is only by following our own compass in our own time, that we create that special feeling of being comfortable in our own skin which is essential to creating a life you love.
Buy Less Stuff!
In my previous life, I was the buyer of stuff. I had a big house full of stuff. Now, I am not anti-buying all stuff but I am definitely more careful about it. I’m also not the judge of how much stuff anyone needs. It’s your business. Some people need more at a particular time in their life and others need less.
Just because I have become a less-stuff kind of person doesn’t mean you need to do that too. However, I can tell you that living with less and buying less is freeing in a way I’ve never known before.
Remember, following your own compass? It’s much easier to do with less stuff.
Here’s my story of my life-changing, no-spend month.
I live with less and because of that, I can live in a nicer place in a part of town that makes me happy. I don’t feel I am living just to buy more stuff or to have nicer stuff. I am simply living.
Nurture Your Relationships
Some people are better at this than others. I fall into the not-so-great at this group. I tend to be very self-involved and introspective.
I people and I’m fairly social but I forget birthdays and important dates. I get paralyzed over what to do when someone is going through bad times.
Yet, in the past few years, I’ve made the conscious decision to do better. I call people. I make plans to get together. I really really try to remember important dates.
Relationships usually don’t end because of one thing. They often end because of long periods of neglect. My relationships are truly one of the reasons I live a life I love.
I nurture relationships with family, with friends, with online acquaintances, and with co-workers. All relationships don’t have to be of the best friend quality but all can be better and enriching.
As a blogger, I express myself almost daily. I love this experience of finding ways to express deeper parts of myself. I have always been drawn to art and writing. Writing publicly has taught me to express myself in personal relationships better.
It’s tough sometimes to say what we mean or to say what we want. I believe in civility and being polite. I also believe it’s important to express the truth as best we can.
Speaking your truth leads to conversations and opportunities you couldn’t have otherwise.
Take Care of Your Body
Your body is your vehicle that you’ll need to get you to a life you love. It’s fairly resilient for a while. But without proper care it begins to break down and get sick and we are seeing that happen at earlier ages.
When I was growing up, almost every kid was healthy, thin, active, and energetic. I don’t remember any kids that were obese. We didn’t have special diets and most of us weren’t involved in organized sports.
It’s just how it was.
I’m not going to get all preachy. Eat real foods. Eat meat, eggs, vegetables, and healthy fats. Avoid sugar and grains. Your body will thank you.
Reach Beyond Can’t and Don’t Want to Have Fun
Over the years, I have avoided doing or learning certain things. Because I was told early that I didn’t have rhythm or musicality, I’ve avoided most things related to music.
As it turns out, I really love music. For a long time, I believed that I couldn’t dance. I can’t and because it doesn’t come easy, I didn’t even want to try.
I can’t even tell you how many things I haven’t done because of the belief that I can’t or that I didn’t want to.
However, FUN dwells in doing things that are beyond Can’t and Don’t Want to.
In the past half year, I’ve gone to two huge music festivals, sailed, ridden a bike, and danced. Lots and lots of dancing—even in public. These things make me happy. They make me smile. They make me laugh with joy.
Each time I go beyond what I thought I couldn’t do or what I thought I didn’t want to do, I expanded my life experiences and felt a joy I had never felt as an adult.
How to Create a Life You Love
Loving your life allows you to bring your best to everyone you interact with. It’s not selfish to want to have a life you love. Most of my steps to creating a life I love—have benefited the people in my life as well.
Yes, most of the time life is ordinary. Yes, there are times of pain. However, by consciously taking these steps, you create a life you love and you become a person that other people love to be around.
Keep showing up my friends!
Check out my page. I share lots of great articles, videos, and other inspirational messages.
My Think Big Life Page
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Need a little help with forgiving. Read this to help get in the spirit and use the guided meditation to make it happen. Forgiving is SO GOOD for you!
Gratitude is the cornerstone of a life you love.
The First Steps Toward Creating a Life You Love
“My goal is to build a life I don’t need a vacation from.” ~Rob Hill Sr.
The other day I had an interesting conversation with a friend, who asked me the question “Who is the happiest person you know?”
Ask yourself this question now. It’s difficult to answer, isn’t it?
There are certainly people around me who seem to be happy, but the happiest person I know? I couldn’t easily come up with an answer.
The conversation with my friend proceeded with him saying, “You seem happy, but it’s so easy for you; you live in Cornwall by the sea, you work for yourself, and you have all the freedom in the world because you’re single.”
It made me smile to think about how people perceive others’ lives. If you ask the next person they might say the absolute opposite: “It must be hard for you living so far away from anything, starting a heart-centered business from scratch with nothing. You must be so lonely being single and doing it all on your own.”
And the truth is, all the above is true. I feel each and every variation of the above on occasions because I’m human! I think and dream just a regular employed person, I love just a married person, and feel and breathe just a city dweller. We are all the same.
But the conversation made me reflect on my own happiness. What does it mean to be happy? I feel the happiest I’ve ever been right now, whether I look at my life with glass-half-full or half-empty eyes. I asked myself why, and the only answer I could think of is, right now I feel authentic.
I wake up each morning and my work feels a joyful adventure, so I don’t have to drag myself through days, questioning the point of what I’m doing.
Feeling complete deep down for the first time in my life soothes the loneliness of not being in a loving partnership right now, and walking the beach with my dog every morning watching the sunrise, instead of being on a packed London commuter train, makes my heart burst with happiness.
This isn’t a recipe for happiness in any shape or form. These are just my things. My choices leading to the life I am creating for myself, from a place of authenticity.
I have started to understand and accept that my life is up to me—my choices, my creation. The life I am living right now resulted from the choices I made before now, and yet they are no longer important; only the choices I make right now are. Right now I am free from the past but have a choice in creating my future.
So often we look outward and feel trapped by things that aren’t real. For me it was my past, my CV, other people’s perceptions, my own fears, and those pesky little shoulds, from myself and others. Or we think that we’re slaves to the choices we made in the past. But the beauty of life is you always have a choice.
I understand that some things in life we literally can’t change—maybe you’re a parent or caregiver or have other responsibilities that limit you—but you still have a choice.
You can choose to resist and focus on the negative, the struggle, or you can choose to see differently, create opportunities for change, and ask for help. No matter what your life looks right now, you can still create a life you love.
I believe that everyone can dig deep to find out what feels right for them, be honest with themselves and others, and align their life with that place of authenticity.
Perhaps you’re wondering, how an earth do I go about creating an authentic life? Where do I start? Well, this is obviously vastly different for everyone, but my advice would be to just start somewhere, and what better place than where you are right now?
By that, I mean start by looking within.
A simple daily meditation practice has changed my life, and I truly believe it can help anyone.
Meditation, for me, is about carving out a few moments each day to sit quietly, breathe, connect with myself, and recognize my part to play in a bigger whole.
Even if it’s just a few moments after I wake up or before I hop into bed at night, this is time free from distraction, free from the roles and responsibilities I identify myself with, free from the complications in life that I might identify as stress. It’s time for just me, to connect with myself and my truth.
Creating a life you love is really about aligning your life with your own core values—those things that are most important to you personally. Regular meditation will help you discover what those are.
It might also help to think about the activities you loved doing as a child and find some time to do one of those things one day soon. Express yourself and be creative—journal, draw, sing. Join an activity group, take a class, volunteer, be of service. Move your body with exercise or yoga.
The point is to listen to yourself and take action on what you discover. Connect with how you really feel and use that as your guide when making choices so you can create a life you truly love.
If you do this, you may eventually realize, as I did, that it doesn’t matter one teeny, tiny bit who the happiest person you know is; all that matters is that you’re happy with yourself and the life you’re living.
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10 steps to create a life you love
The one constant in life is change. It is all around us, in our personal and work lives and it is within us. From the time we are born until we die, our life evolves and we grow. Change is necessary and inevitable. However, we need to acknowledge that change is hard at an individual level. We are in fact hard wired to be resistant to change.
Our brain is wired to minimise threat and risks. We take the fight or flight response when we are in danger or feel anxious in any way. There is no doubt the release of cortisol and adrenaline has a significant effect on our bodies and brains.
It is interesting that the part of our brain responsible for thinking clearly and logically can shut down in times of anxiety. Our emotional and memory parts of the brain take over in these times. We have hardwired our past patterns and habits over many years.
Indeed, under pressure or in times of stress we have a tendency to revert back to old ways of doing things.
We can learn to accept change
However we are able to change through having the right mental framework and mindset.
Current research in neuroscience shows that our brains can change throughout our lives. The recent scientific discovery called neuroplasticity is overthrowing the centuries old notion that the adult human being is fixed and unchanging.
Our brain is able to change its wiring and function, even in old age. Change is possible even if we are resistant to making these changes. We can all remember times when circumstances we had no control over, forced us to make changes. We were stretched and we responded to the challenge. In fact, we found out we were capable of more than we originally believed.
Many of us move forward in our lives without really acknowledging to ourselves that in fact there are many times we made significant and lasting internal changes and therefore grew as an individual.
There is no doubt acknowledging this even if it is just to ourselves can be a very powerful strategy to increase our resilience and self-mastery.
A key to a meaningful life is having a purpose
One of the most powerful processes we can use utilise as we go through life is to consciously work out our own personal purpose and meaning in life, articulating a personal vision and then setting goals to achieve that vision.
Making a commitment to change helps us grow as a person. It is not just about achieving these goals but going through the process enables us to make powerful, internal and lasting changes, rewiring our brains. We learn more about ourselves and have a greater mastery of our emotions.
Through greater self-awareness we build our emotional intelligence and this gives us the potential to lead a more fulfilling and satisfying life. Daniel Goldman, in his famous books on Emotional Intelligence, acknowledges that EQ can be a greater determiner of success in life than IQ.
Articulating our life purpose and having conscious goals to work towards create energy for change and give us momentum. Often our goals can change through our life journey. Whether we achieve those particular goals or not, or whether our goals change, it is important to note “success is a journey, not a destination.”
Clarifying our purpose and meaning in life and setting goals to achieve this purpose can be a powerful, life changing and liberating process. We are challenging ourselves to reach our full potential.
But how do you actually set goals?
However, being able to set effective goals and work towards them is a skill and all skills, needs to be learned and needs practice. Life gets in the way and our willpower can ebb and flow. At times it may seem impossible to break a lifetime of habits and patterns of behaviour.
Having a defined vision and keeping focused can help us have our own insights about changes we need to make. This will help us rewire our brain and thus embed new connections and neural pathways.
So what can you do to make lasting and inspirational change in your life? What can you do to be your own ‘coach’ in your life journey?
Below is a summary of 10 essential steps you can follow to create an authentic and meaningful life you love.
Articulating your life purpose and how you can lead an authentic life with conscious goals to work towards, creates momentum and energy for change.
2) Where you are right now
This step requires you to complete a life satisfaction audit. You need to step away from yourself, objectively observe your current reality and clarify your core values, character strengths and intrinsic motivations. In essence, you are defining how you live a life true to yourself.
3) Create a compelling vision for your future
The aim of this exercise is to clearly define and articulate what your desired life looks in the future, and what will help you live a passionate and fulfilled life.
4) Write your personal vision statements
In this step you choose up to 3 areas of your life you want to change to help you achieve your dreams
5) Write your personal action plan
Your actions need to be clearly defined and achievable but at the same time challenge you to step your comfort zone. These actions need lots of perseverance, practice and reinforcement.
6) Take action and monitor your progress
You need to commit yourself to reviewing your actions and monitoring your progress on a regular basis. Keeping a journal is a great way of doing this and in fact research shows journal writing can be a powerful tool for change and can be cathartic.
7) Make use of a range of valuable tools and techniques
This includes things meditation and mindfulness, prioritizing, practising gratitude, self-compassion, resilience and forgiveness.
It is vital you reward yourself for making progress, no matter how small or insignificant you think it is.
We are all good at letting our inner critic take over at times and berate ourselves for failure at not achieving exactly what we wanted.
The ability to rethink the way we explain circumstances in our lives and the way we choose to focus on failure or success can have a major effect on who we are and how we live our lives.
9) Evaluate and take stock
This is a time of self-reflection on what you have learnt about yourself and how you have expanded your self-awareness and consciousness.
10) Where to from here
You are the creator of your own life. By going through the steps above you have made deep and lasting changes. This journey can continue with defining new goals to work towards in your quest for a life you love.
It is the consistent reinforcement on positive changes we are making as well as our focus and attention on our future state that will help us embed these new connections in our brain. Articulating and consciously working towards our goals help us go against the path of least resistance we find it easier to go down in our life’s journey.
Life is all about change. The success in our life is determined by how we manage change at an individual level knowing through neuroplasticity we are capable of rewiring our brains. We acknowledge there are many circumstances and events in life we have no control over. Ultimately, what we do have choice over is our attitude to the way we live our lives and what our life purpose is.
This famous quote from Victor Frankl says it all. ‘Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.’
This is excerpt from Jeanette Brown’s latest eBook, Be Your Own Life Coach: 10 Essential Steps to Creating a Life You Love.
This eBook provides a structured, easy-to-follow framework to help you improve your life and achieve your goals.
Written by a life coach with decades of managerial and coaching experience, this eBook provides a blueprint that will help you live the life of your dreams. Check it out here.
Learn how to reduce stress, cultivate healthy relationships, handle people you don't and find your place in the world.
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If you were hoping for the same fluffy and friendly life advice about life that you get in other places, think again.
These seven home truths may be hard to hear, but they are guaranteed to help you sort your crap out and get your life together.
Tired of the bullshit? Then keep reading.
1) It’s not anyone else’s job to fix you, so fix yourself
Have something missing? Find it. Feeling miserable? Get out there and find something that makes you happy.
Stop waiting for that lottery win or that knight in shining armor to come and rescue you. You are not in distress, figure out what you want and then get out in the world and grab it with both hands.
2) Nothing is perfect
It’s not the right time to have children.
It’s too risky to start my own business.
I can’t start dating until I’ve lost more weight.
Suck it up buttercup! If you keep waiting for the right time, the right place or the right situation, all you’ll find is yourself waiting on your deathbed with a list of regrets about things you never did.
The right time is now, so get out there and get what you want.
3) You are probably definitely going to fail
“The only way to avoid criticism is to do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.” (Aristotle)
Aristotle may be some old dude that’s been dead longer than you’ve been alive, but that doesn’t mean he’s not right about this. Failure is typical, it’s natural, and everyone does it.
You will make a fool of yourself.
You will make terrible decisions.
You’ll kiss the wrong person.
You’ll make mistakes and regret them.
That’s fine, but when you fall off that horse (or kiss that frog), dust yourself off and get straight back up again. Don’t stop living just because you didn’t get it right the first time.
4) You can’t change the past
I know, this one is tough – but no matter how hard you try the past can never be re-written.
Don’t spend your time wallowing in your regrets and your mistakes, instead focus on your plans for the future and start taking positive steps to achieve your goals.
5) Tomorrow doesn’t come for everyone
The polo-necked king of the iPhone said it best:
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.” (Steve Jobs).
People get hit by buses, they crash their cars, and they have heart attacks. Don’t put off until tomorrow what can be done today, because, for some people, tomorrow never comes.
6) Being busy doesn’t mean you are productive
Some people live to shout from the rooftops about how busy they are, but if you assess their actions carefully, you quickly realize that if they focused on completing the task as much as they concentrated on stressing out about how much they have to do, they wouldn’t be so busy in the first place.
Work smarter, not harder. List everything you have to do, putting urgent and important tasks at the top and get cracking. Turn off all social media notifications and anything else that might distract you and get it done. No excuses.
7) You do have the time, stop telling everyone that you don’t
“I just haven’t got the time” is spoken so often that it has become a meaningless statement. How many hours a day do you spend on social media? Watching TV? Looking through pictures on your phone? Chatting to colleagues about their sisters, cousins, dog?
We fill our days with distractions, identify yours, limit your time on them, and you’ll suddenly find there are more productive hours in the day than you originally thought.
Now you’ve had the un-sugar-coated truth, what will you do today to start getting your shit together?
Learn how to reduce stress, cultivate healthy relationships, handle people you don't and find your place in the world.
Success! Now check your email to confirm your subscription.